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How To Ask A Girl Out
Hi, this is Dean Cortez, creator of the Mack Tactics program — the top guide for guys who want to become massively skilled and attractive with women. One of most common questions I get asked is, how to ask a girl out.
Here are tips on how to ask a girl out that should help you overcome any nervousness, and get her say “yes” instead of turning you down, or telling you she’s busy…
1. First, don’t think about this as “asking a girl out on a date.” When you ask a woman out in the traditional way, and you frame it as a “date,” you are already putting yourself in a weak position. You’re basically communicating to her, “I obviously like you, and I’m hoping you’ll like me, too, so let me spend some money on you in an attempt to show you I’m worthy of dating you.”
You want to frame it differently. Rather than asking her out on a “normal date,” you want to invite her to ACCOMPANY YOU to some cool, interesting spot that you think she would enjoy.
This way, the message you are sending is this: you’re a fun guy who has an active social life and knows about cool places, and this is HER chance to be a part of your interesting world and broaden her horizons.
You want to phrase it so that it sounds like you are planning to do this activity ANYWAY, so if she can’t join you for whatever reason (maybe she actually IS busy), it’s not like she is rejecting you.
When you call her to make this “invite,” have your gameplan already worked out. (The WORST way to ask a girl out — and this is how most guys do it — is to say something vague like, “So maybe if you’re free sometime, we could do something…”
No. You’ve got to make it EASY for her to say “yes.” You do this by laying out a gameplan that includes the time and location, and sounds cool and interesting. The more SPECIFIC you are, the less chance there is of her making an excuse to back out.
“So Cindy, I’m planning to visit this arts festival on Saturday that I hear is going to be amazing. I can tell that you’ve got a creative, artistic side, and this is something you’re definitely going to love, so you should come along with me on Saturday. I can pick you up at 1 o’clock.”
- Or, “I’m super busy for the next few days, but on Friday night I’m going to swing by this amazing Mexican restaurant that I discovered. This place is a hidden gem, I swear they have the most awesome margaritas in town. You should come with me, I can pick you up before I head over there. Say, 8 o’clock.”
As far as where you bring her, there are a endless possibilities. It could be a cool coffee shop, a bar, an outdoor festival, a show at an art gallery, a free concert in the park, a cool part of town that has funky shops and boutique stores where you want to do some shopping…the bottom line is that it needs to be a place you can get her EXCITED about visiting with you. You need to “sell” it to her.
2. To increase your chances of her agreeing to the plan, present her with a “false choice.” Invite her to do something that can be done on Friday OR Saturday. (Assuming she does not work on the weekends.)
For example, you could say, “This weekend, I need to shop for a birthday gift for my friend Mike. I want to get him a really cool shirt, or a pair of jeans — something trendy. I’d love to get your opinion on it — why don’t you come shopping with me. What’s better for you, Saturday or Sunday?”
(Now she isn’t thinking in terms of accepting the invite, or turning it down — she’s thinking, “hmmm, am I free on Saturday, or is Sunday better?”
Night-time activities (going out for drinks) is always cool, but daytime dates can also be very effective. If you tend to get nervous on dates, daytime dates — that involve walking around with her — will help you burn off nervous energy. Outdoor shopping malls and street festivals are perfect for this. And by strolling around with her and checking out different things, you’ll have a constant supply of conversational topics.
Notice that NONE of the activities that I suggested including taking her out to dinner, or to a movie. These are typical “dates” that frame you as an ordinary dude who is trying to court her and win her approval. Plus, taking her to dinner requires to spend a substantial amount of money (which should never be necessary on a first date), and taking her a movie isn’t going to help you make any progress. How are you supposed to display your personality and get her attracted to you, when you’re sitting next to her in the dark for two hours and being silent?
When you use these ideas, and then follow it up with the conversational strategies that I explain in the Mack Tactics book, your dating success rate is going to skyrocket.
I can tell you from my own personal experience, when I used to invite women to go to “dinner and a movie” and I’d spend $50-$75 on the evening, it rarely led to the results I wanted.
But when I started inviting women to come with me and hang out in more interesting, casual settings — even if it was just meeting for coffee at a cozy, comfortable coffee shop — I found that the conversation would flow much more naturally and we would “bond.” There isnt any sense of pressure or expectations when you approach the first date this way.
Neither person is comfortable when you ask a girl out to a fancy restaurant and try to impress her that way.
For dozens of amazing conversational tactics and strategies to use with women, sure-fire techniques on how to ask a girl out, and tips on how to ESCALATE the situation towards romance, visit www.macktactics.com. Watch our free instructional videos, download our free book, and start turbo-charging your dating game NOW!
Originally posted 2011-09-03 23:25:23.