It is usually up to us men to start the interaction with a woman. This can be a difficult and nerve-wracking business for many men. So we look for a method or technique that will get us talking to that gorgeous little thing sitting at the bar.
Before I got married, I dated several hundred women – really. No joke. So I am going to share with you a few steps and tips to make the job easier and more rewarding for you.
First, let me mention some really cute, funny lines, that, curiously enough, rarely work. You walk up to that beautiful girl and say, “Excuse me, I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” Or here is another: “Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
You chuckled, right? So how can I say these types of lines do not work? It makes the girl smile and puts her at ease, which is what you want and need. It breaks the ice. Aren’t these romantic pickup lines? What could go wrong?
Well, plenty. Pick up lines like these are too cute by half. The girl has probably heard them all before. Even worse, they signal that you are shallow and perhaps not interested in a real relationship. They come across as silly, sexist and juvenile, even if the girl did in fact laugh.
A laugh is a good start, but it will be hard to move on after a beginning like that.
Now here are a couple more openers you should normally not use, even though many men think these are great pickup lines: “Do you come here often?” or “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” Puleeze! You must think of something more original than that! These lines are totally worn out, and will indicate that you are unimaginative and dull.
You may be tempted to fall back on the old standby, “Hi, can I buy you a drink?” Resist the urge, at least at first, for the same reasons. Once the conversation is flowing smoothly, you can offer her a drink.
Remember that women, especially pretty ones, have heard it all before. They know every line and move, every approach and every trick. Years ago, a dot-com multimillionaire would approach attractive women and open with this line: “Hi there, can I buy you a car?”
I suspect this tactic got him talking to the ladies alright, but not much farther, most of the time. Women are not fools. They know very well that a perfect stranger is not going to buy them an expensive item like a car, at least not right away.
One reliable method that often works is to go up to the woman and ask a question, or ask for information. Example: “Do you know what time this bar closes?” or “Do you know any good restaurants nearby?” If she names a restaurant, it is no doubt one of her favorites. Let the conversation develop. If you sense that she might be interested in you, invite her to go to the eatery for a bite.
I said earlier that I have dated many women. So which approach worked best for me? Well, I tried many ways to pick up girls, often using clever lines and amusing jokes. But I found that the simple, straightforward approach usually was best. I would just walk up to the girl and say, “Hi, how are you?”
She would reply. Then I would find something to compliment her on. “You have a pretty smile” or “You have nice eyes”. She will again reply. Then I would say something like “My name is Jake, can I join you for a moment?”
This normally works much better than saying something nice about her hair or her dress (save that for later). It signals that you are interested in her as a person, and that you are not some superficial jerk. The lady will also find it different and refreshing, and that makes you stand out from the crowd.
Try these techniques with patience and sensitivity. You will find they work very well. But do not be afraid to use your own judgement and your instincts when you are with that special girl. Be direct and honest. You will not succeed every time, but your overall success rate will surely increase … a lot!
Republished by Blog Post Promoter
Originally posted 2010-10-04 16:20:28.