Five Rules For Talking To Girls
When it comes to getting a girlfriend, one of the greatest challenges that guys face is not understanding how to lead the conversation and move it in the right direction.
Let me cut to the chase: if you don’t know how to carry on a cool conversation, you can forget about being awesome with girls. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don’t worry – I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. Don’t worry if you don’t have a natural “gift of gab.”
Just put in the necessary time to practice these skills, and over time you’ll make dramatic improvements – to the point where chatting and flirting with women will feel completely natural. That’s because you’ve developed a core foundation of skills for any situation you’ll encounter.
When you’ve got strong conversation skills and know the right topics to touch on, it creates more curiosity in the mind of a woman. When you use these methods of “creative conversation,” she’ll never know what you’re going to say next – and this stimulates her curosity and interest in you. By keeping her guessing (and on her toes), you’ll make sure she is never bored when talking to you – and boredom is probably the #1 “attraction killer” that will destroy your chances of hooking up.
How To Talk To Women – Five Golden Rules
You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys.
So let’s jump into it. Here are five of my favorite methods for turbo-charging your conversations with women.
1. Observe and be perceptive
When you get in the habit of paying attention to your surroundings – people, places and things – you’ll almost never run out of things to say. This can spark attraction in a woman, when she feels that you’re confident enough to lead the conversation and you’re tuned into your surroundings. You don’t ever want to her to suspect that you have an agenda, and that you’re TRYING to use lines or routines to trick her into “liking” you. Don’t underestimate the power of the female “B.S. detector,” which is hard-wired into them. (This is especially true with very attractive women, who have a ton of experience with talking to men and can spot a phony a mile away.) If she feels that you’re not being truthful, or that you’re trying to manipulate her into hooking up with you, it’s game over.
2. Ask genuine, non-threatening questions
Most women are wary of PUA games, tactics or weird language from guys. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) – assuming she hasn’t heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever “pickup routine” in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can’t maintain eye contact. The best way to set yourself apart from other guys is to ask authentic questions… without an agenda or hidden motive. A woman needs to trust and feel safe around you before she’s willing to spend more time in a conversation.
Real badasses don’t rely on corny lines they memorized from a website, they have the confidence to express genuine opinions and questions.
3. Listen actively (being a good listener can be even MORE important than knowing what to say next)
One of the best ways to keep a conversation going isn’t by being the smoothest talker, or monopolizing the conversation – but instead, being the best listener. Being a great listener might not come naturally to you, especially if you’re an outgoing guy with a good sense of humor, who is used to being the center of attention when you’re hanging out with your buddies. Even if you have to bite your tongue waiting for someone to finish their thought or ideas, do it. One of the rules of human behavior is that people appreciate it when other people LISTEN to them, and this is especially true with women, who really appreciate a guy who seems interested in what they have to say. This also takes some of the burden off of you when you’re conversing with women. Instead of constantly trying to dominate the conversation and talking about yourself, ask her a thought-provoking question (check out the Mack Tactics book to learn some of these, especially the chapter on “Hypotheticals”) and then listen and appreciate what she has to say.
4. Keep it light (never let her see you sweat)
Women generally worry about small things more than men do. At any given time, you can assume that a girl has at least one thing on her mind that is causing her stress. As long as you can keep her smiling and having fun, so that she forgets about her other worries, you’ll be a guy she wants to hang out with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne — these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. When you radiate this type of confidence and control, women are going to want to follow your lead because you make them feel safe. By being cool, calm and relaxed at all times, and using humor (especially when things aren’t going according to plan, such as trying to talk to a girl in a loud, crowded nightclub), you’ll make her feel safe in your presence, and this is one of the prerequisites for making any woman feel attraction.
5. Stay in the moment and always be “present” (not distracted)
Men have a tendency to let their thoughts drift in a million different directions, rather than focusing on what’s right in front of them — in this case, a woman you want to connect with. If you’re the type of guy who gets anxious or tongue-tied around hot girls, you might allow your thoughts to drift all over the place (“Does this girl like me?” “What if she has a boyfriend?” “Do I sound like a total dork?” Etc.). When this happens, and you allow your own “mental traffic” to distract you, you won’t be focused on the present moment. This means that even though you might be standing right in front her, you are not truly “present.” And when women sense this, it’s a big turn-off.
Stay focused on her and make a conscious effort to eliminate the mental chatter going on inside your head. This means you’re truly engaged in a conversation, contributing and giving genuine feedback. Don’t behave like most guys do — nodding your head like a brainless “bobble head” doll and simply saying “uh-huh” or “yeah, totally” once in a while. You’re not fooling women when you take this lazy, distracted approach to the conversation. You’ll seem apathetic (i.e. you really don’t care about what she’s saying), or just plain clueless and socially awkward. This certainly won’t score you any points with her, and she’ll probably want to excuse herself from the conversation before long.
As with anything else worth learning, you’ll have to put in time and effort to develop this skill – but the payoff goes far beyond just picking up girls, because these same skills can get you ahead with your career or your business pursuits. It’s the social equivalent of hitting a million-dollar jackpot in Vegas.
A final note: while becoming a great conversionalist is an important step towards becoming awesome with women, it’s not the only weapon you need in your arsenal. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). Don’t try and “re-invent the wheel” when it comes to your social life. In the long run, improving your overall level of confidence, and your lifestyle, will attract far more women than memorizing a few clever or sneaky “routines” to make a woman drop her guard. I’m sure your goal is to meet QUALITY women — not girls who are easily tricked or deceived into sleeping with you.
Bonus Tips To Help You Attract More Girls…
If you are a guy and you are at a dead-end for surefire ways to get the girl you like, then it is best that you become proficient in picking up women and in dating. As for picking up girls, it is an art form that takes practice and willpower to master, just like what the great pick up artists did before they became so. The art requires certain skills coupled with the right pick up lines and a certain demeanor from any guy who aims to become an expert. So, how do you get the girl?
The first tip in getting the girl occurs even before you spot a girl you like: be well-dressed, thus, fit to be seen. You have to pay attention to your clothes; pick clothes that suit you yet go with the latest fashion trends. You need to consciously dress up wherever you may be going so that you always look well put together. Your clothes should be neat. All these things are a must if you want to attract the attention of the girl you like as first impressions count.
The second step in getting the girl needs you to pay attention to your attitude or way of carrying yourself. For this one, you need to get the message across that you are an authority in the social scene and thus are a man of importance. You have to instill in the observers’ minds that you are an important part of the circle and are a well respected one. So, walk confidently with your head held high, keep your hands relaxed, and keep eye contact with the girl, but don’t act arrogant. These things can help you make the girl give you a second glance.
The third tip in getting the girl, just like the previous two, happens before meeting a girl you like. You have to broaden your network of friends for social proof. This step is critical as it helps a lot in making girls take notice of your worth as a member in the social scene. When a girl sees that you are sociable and that your friends enjoy your company, your “attractiveness points” go up in the girl’s eyes. Thus, make lots of friends and don’t just limit yourself to guys; make friends with lots of girls as well – this tells the girl that you are a loved and valued member of the group.
The last factor you need to get right when attempting to get the girl is your pick up line. There are various pick up lines of different genres to choose from: funny, sweet, naughty, corny, you name it, you can be sure to find it! You have to be ready with these pick up lines just in case you meet a girl who strikes your fancy; besides, saying the perfect line in the right setting can help you succeed in your endeavor. Of course, being prepared with a few great pick up lines for different places can give you more confidence if you are really put in that particular situation. However, you must be careful to communicate confidence even in your delivery of the line.
To come to the point, becoming proficient in the art of picking up girls and in dating requires patience to get the tricks down pat on your part. You won’t become a great pick up artist just by waiting for divine intervention to grant you the magic words to say to the girl. No, you have to dress fashionably, act confidently, circulate to be noticed, and choose a great pick up line. When you do all these things, the seemingly difficult task of getting the girl becomes easy.
Download the famous Mack Tactics guide, and I’ll give you the exact “blueprint” you need to make powerful, lasting changes in your lifestyle and attitude. This book will teach you how to be incredibly clever and charming to the girls you talk to — but it will also give you the tools you need to create the overall image and lifestyle that attracts women TO you. Why wait another day, or spend another Saturday night striking out and not getting the results you want.
Copyright 2011 – Conversation Tips – How To Talk To Girls
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