How To Talk To Girls
So here’s the bottom line: If you can’t keep a conversation going, you can’t be super successful with women. But if your conversation skills are lacking, don’t worry – I can give you a few powerful tactics to help you out, and with some practice, you can become a master of conversing with girls. Don’t worry if you don’t have a natural “gift of gab.” With consistent effort and practice over time, you can get better results with women than your silver-tongued brethren. Once you develop the core skills that I’m about to explain, you’ll be ready to strike up a conversation with a girl in virtually any situation.
If you have multiple ways to sustain a conversation, it creates more curiosity in the mind of a woman. When you use these methods of “creative conversation,” she’ll never know what you’re going to say next – and this stimulates her curosity and interest in you. By keeping her guessing (and on her toes), you’ll make sure she is never bored when talking to you – and boredom is probably the #1 “attraction killer” that will destroy your chances of hooking up. You may not be “The Most Interesting Man In The World” from the Dos Equis commercials, but you’ll be a lot more interesting than most guys who don’t practice these conversation keys.
How To Talk To Women – Five Golden Rules
Let’s jump into it – here are the top 5 ways to keep a conversation moving in the right direction:
1. Ask her questions that are non-threatening and genuine
If you’re been studying PUA (Pick Up Artist) routines and language, there’s a good chance that the girl you’re talking to has encountered this stuff before. PUA routines have gone mainstream, and in bars and clubs around the world these routines are being overused. Some of these PUA routines are in fact quite clever (and can be effective) – assuming she hasn’t heard them before. But you must remember that any lines or routines you use must be congruent with your personality and body language. You must project confidence and playfulness. The most clever “pickup routine” in the world will fail miserably if the guy delivering it is fidgeting nervously and can’t maintain eye contact. The best way to set yourself apart from other guys is to ask authentic questions… without an agenda or hidden motive. Also keep in mind that a woman needs to feel comfortable with you, in order for her to feel a connection. (And if you’re obviously not comfortable in your own skin…and confident in yourself…there’s no way she’s going to feel comfortable with the conversation.) I would suggest that instead of trying to rely on lines or routines that you memorized in a book, show confidence by asking genuine questions and sharing genuine opinions.
2. Observe and be perceptive
When you get in the habit of paying attention to your surroundings – people, places and things – you’ll almost never run out of things to say. This can spark attraction in a woman, when she feels that you’re confident enough to lead the conversation and you’re tuned into your surroundings. You don’t ever want to her to suspect that you have an agenda, and that you’re TRYING to use lines or routines to trick her into “liking” you. Don’t underestimate the power of the female “B.S. detector,” which is hard-wired into them. (This is especially true with very attractive women, who have a ton of experience with talking to men and can spot a phony a mile away.) If she feels that you’re not being truthful, or that you’re trying to manipulate her into hooking up with you, it’s game over.
3. Don’t let her see you sweat, keep it light
Most women spend a lot of time worrying about any number of topics. As long as you can keep her smiling and having fun, so that she forgets about her other worries, you’ll be a guy she wants to hang out with. Think of Hollywood icons such as Sylvester Stallone, George Clooney, Russell Crowe, Clint Eastwood, or John Wayne — these guys never seemed worried or anxious, and were able to handle any situation that arose. And they added an occasional dose of good humor to show they were in control. A woman will follow your social lead, based on how you come across and make her feel. Women like being around guys who make them feel safe and secure – and you can do this by staying calm, cool and relaxed.
4. Be an active listener
One of the best ways to keep a conversation going isn’t by being the smoothest talker, or monopolizing the conversation – but instead, being the best listener. Being a great listener might not come naturally to you, especially if you’re an outgoing guy with a good sense of humor, who is used to being the center of attention when you’re hanging out with your buddies. You might need to start biting your tongue and holding back, in order to let her do more of the talking. People like other people who let them talk, and women will respect and appreciate you more. This also takes some of the burden off of you when you’re conversing with women. Instead of constantly trying to dominate the conversation and talking about yourself, ask her a thought-provoking question (check out the Mack Tactics book to learn some of these, especially the chapter on “Hypotheticals”) and then listen and appreciate what she has to say.
5. Stay in the moment and always be “present” (not distracted)
As guys, we think about a lot of things: The idiot that cut us off in traffic… what time tonight’s game starts… or what band is playing this weekend – and we don’t focus on the person or situation right in front of us. If you’re the type of guy who gets anxious or tongue-tied around hot girls, you might allow your thoughts to drift all over the place (“Does this girl like me?” “What if she has a boyfriend?” “Do I sound like a total dork?” Etc.). When this happens, and you allow your own “mental traffic” to distract you, you won’t be focused on the present moment. For women it’s called being “present,” and it’s absolutely HUGE.
Stay focused on her and make a conscious effort to eliminate the mental chatter going on inside your head. You must stay fully engaged in the present moment, contributing to the conversation in a genuine way, sharing your thoughts, and acknowledging what she has to say. You aren’t nodding like a bobble head doll, or mindlessly saying “uh-huh” or “yeah” every so often. You’re not fooling women when you take this lazy, distracted approach to the conversation. You’ll appear lazy or apathetic, and she definitely won’t think you’re a badass.
Mastering the art of conversation will yield benefits beyond scoring with women. These skills are also essential for forging business relationships and making progress with your other goals. Everyone loves to be listened to and appreciated, whether it’s a babe you meet at the bar, or the guy sitting across the desk from you, interviewing you for a job.
A final note: while becoming a great conversionalist is an important step towards becoming awesome with women, it’s not the only weapon you need in your arsenal. If you try to learn these skills and attitudes on your own without any guidance, you’re in for a long, ego-bruising journey (like I went through). What you need is a thorough, comprehensive game plan which will help you go from the opening conversation, all the way to a successful seduction. In the long run, improving your overall level of confidence, and your lifestyle, will attract far more women than memorizing a few clever or sneaky “routines” to make a woman drop her guard. I’m sure your goal is to meet QUALITY women — not girls who are easily tricked or deceived into sleeping with you.
Download the famous Mack Tactics guide, and I’ll give you the exact “blueprint” you need to make powerful, lasting changes in your lifestyle and attitude. This book will teach you how to be incredibly clever and charming to the girls you talk to — but it will also give you the tools you need to create the overall image and lifestyle that attracts women TO you. Click the link below and get started.
Copyright 2011 – How To Talk To Girls Techniques
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Originally posted 2011-08-29 05:07:50.