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Pickup Lines – Avoid All of These

Now that it’s summertime -at least for a few more weeks! Summertime is like pickup season. Everyone looks at Memorial Day to Labor Day as the time that they’re going to go out there and meet somebody.

Women look good, men look better – everybody thinks that they’re just going to go out and pick up somebody. It’s pickup season.

But the fact of the matter is that if you look at it as pickup season, you are NOT going to meet anybody!

So, without further ado, here are ten of the worst pickup lines we have ever heard in our entire lives:

A woman and her mother are walking down the street. Of course, the old cliché is, “what are you two, sisters?” Like they haven’t heard that a thousand times! And then all of a sudden the guy makes the comeback, “oh no way, I knew you guys were sisters!” Meanwhile, the woman clearly looks 70 and the daughter clearly looks 40 – they don’t look like sisters. But thanks for the flattery.

How about another bad pickup line – walking up to a woman and saying, “you’re beautiful!” And then you have absolutely no comeback after that. You say, “you’re beautiful,” she says, “thank you,” and what happens next? No conversation.

Or how about, “don’t I know you from somewhere?” She knows you don’t know her from anywhere, and she’s heard that about a thousand times! You’re the third guy today to say that, so why are you bothering?

Another bad pickup line: “can I buy you a drink?” Does she look homeless? Why don’t you just buy her dinner? Do you go into a clothing store, walk up to a woman and say, “can I buy you a dress?” “Can I buy you a top?” Lame. They’ve seen it a thousand times before – she’s going to take the drink and run.

Here’s another one: you walk up to a woman on the street and say, “excuse me, weren’t you at the barbeque last Sunday?” I’ve actually seen guys use that one! A woman will point-blank look at him and say, “no, I was out of town.” And then she’ll tell you everything she was doing last weekend, too! So in a way, it is such a bad pickup line that it actually might work!

Another great bad pickup line: “excuse me, do you have the time?” Meanwhile, you’re so unobservant, you didn’t even realize that she doesn’t have a watch! And your carrying your cell phone in your hand which has a clock attached to it! That’s a bad pickup line!

Here another bad one: “excuse me, do I know you from somewhere? Aren’t you my future ex-girlfriend?” She’s heard that one before. And you know what? She is your future ex-girlfriend, starting from the second you utter that line!

Another one would be: “excuse me, can I have your number, because I just lost mine!” That’s a winner. You have to break that down a little bit. It doesn’t even make any sense that someone would walk over there and say that! “Excuse me, I lost my number, can I have yours?” It makes no sense at all.

Here’s another good pickup line: a guy walks into a coffee shop and sees four girls sitting around, having a cup of coffee. The guy walks over and says, “hey, what are you guys doing, having coffee?” I’ve seen that happen so many times.

There’s the power of observation, and then there is the power of being a dunce. What is that? Are you girls having coffee? No, it’s not coffee.

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Failed Pick-up Lines

Originally posted 2005-01-25 21:26:56.

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