What to do? I feel guilty…?

I am in the military currently stationed on the other side of the world for a year while my wife and son are in the US. My wife is a stay at home mother and takes care of my two year old son.

However, we have become distant (even more so than before) communication wise. We talk on the phone, however are conversations are never more than a few minutes. The reason being is because I’ve felt different since I’ve arrived here. We’ve been married for over 3 years now, (I am 25, she is 29). Our marriage has not been the greatest, the first year we argued a lot because of communications barriers (She is South Korean). The second year my son was born so we stopped arguing for the sake of my son being an infant. But the last year I’ve been working so much and we became even more distant. Nothing exists in the bedroom and we do not have any decent conversations. Now me being physically away from her it gave me the chance to contemplate about my marriage. I’ve been through about 2 years of depression due to the marriage. She is a beautiful woman and a loving mother, however we do not share anything in common. We argue over simple things and she never has supported me in anything I do. We got married relatively quickly, I knew her less than a year before we married and dated even less.

I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and if my son was not born I am pretty sure the marriage would have not lasted this far. Now that I am so far away from her it has made me rethink the marriage because I want to go in a different direction with my life. I love her as a person and I will never abandon my son, I will always be there for him and financially take care of my responsibilities as a father. But I have been thinking if I should stay in a marriage when I am not happy.

I know some of you would say I am selfish and should work it out for the sake of my son. But my parents who are still married for going on 26 years have had a horrible marriage due to infidelity on my father’s part. I do not want to commit the same acts as my father. I think my wife deserves someone that is going to love her and have things in common with her.

I have made a few friends recently and one of them is very special to me. She is amazing in everyway. She is in an independent woman, college graduate, beautiful inside and out. She is only a friend, but I find myself completely infatuated by her. We talk on the phone for hours on end which is something I’ve never been able to do even in person with my own wife. I have not done anything with her, but mentally I feel like I am cheating.

I feel as if if I weren’t married I would definitely be happy with this woman. She truly makes me happy. Do you think it would be wrong of me to break my marriage over her? Should I stay with someone when I am not happy and know I will not be happy? Why prolong something that could end later and miss out on the woman I’ve been searching for? The only reason I can think of is my son, but I do not think he deserves a family where the mother and father constantly bicker and do not get along. What do I do? I am completely lost in my life right now.
I know you people think I’m some sick twisted selfish bastard. But if you had any idea of what I’ve been through you’d understand. I made a mistake at a young age by getting married to someoen I barely knew outside of the bedroom. Once we got married and lived together is when I realized how truly different we were. How can you stay with someone knowing you are not happy every day of your life. For the sake of my son? I love him and would never abandon him as far as being a father. But me and his mother are very different people. I feel guilty everyday about it. I love her as a person and as a mother but I cannot see my life like this forever.

My Korean boyfriend says he cannot be with me in the long run because…?

I met my boyfriend 9 months ago and everything has been pretty good. And in the beginning of our relationship we did talk about marriage etc. and both seemed interested in it (but was way too early to think about it ne ways).
Tonight we got to talking and he said he cant be with me for the long run and there isn’t any future for us because of my beautiful 4 year old daughter Serenity. He cannot be with a woman who has a kid and his family won’t accept it……yes I understand that some backgrounds don’t approve of their son or daughter to be with someone who has a child. BUT …why has he stayed with me for 9 months and says he loves me and he knew I had a child all this time?!?!?!?!?!? I feel so hurt and sad right now. My daughter does not live with me at the time I see her on weekends because I am a full time student and her dad has more time with her (short term). But it hurts, if my bf has a problem then he should have not got together with me from the beginning. I am sad and I feel I should just end this relationship since there will never be a future for us.

Please help?

Strange Question From Wife/Marriage Partner?

First, a little background leading up to the question –

A few years ago my Korean-born wife and I were visiting Cheju-do (Je-Ju nowadays) as part of a tourist group using a mini-bus for visiting the sights.

There was this one gorgeous-looking lady; I mean really trim-looking, with beautiful face. (She had her daughter with her)

I suppose my wife didn’t realize what she asked when she said to me –

“Do you think that woman’s pants are too tight?”

I was speechless; I recovered quickly and asked, “what did you ask me?” My wife would not repeat the question.

Now for the question –

What is the strangest, or most unusual question your Korean-born wife / husband / partner ever asked you?

Why is it so hard for some men to talk…?

My husband and I have had problems in our marriage and I told him shutting each other out is only going to make matters worse. We need to address our problems, find common solutions and move on with our life.

This led to another topic.
He says that men who share their feelings and talk “like women” are bunch of pu**sies.
I really disagree with that.
He says that no woman wants to hear her husband talk about his feelings because that shows weakness in a man.

I told him that probably 100% of women want their mates to open up. I would NEVER in a million years think my husband is weak or a pu**y if he opens up to me. I would never use it against him because there is nothing wrong with telling your spouse how you feel.

I would really welcome his thoughts, his feelings and input. He really is like a wall and its so hard for me sometimes to get to HIM.

I think we’ve been having problems is because he is so closed off and emotionally unavailable.

I think all women want a man who talks.
For example, my husband cried each time he welcomed our kids into this world. I thought that moment was so beautiful that our children meant so much to him.

One time when we were watching CNN and i believe the show we were watching was called “CNN heros”. One particular man (Korean maybe) got an award because he has created kind of a “safe haven” for young kids and babies whose parents could no longer care for.
It was really touching.
So we were watching it and my husband started to tear up. I really loved it. I loved to see him express emotions.

Are most men like this? That they are afraid to express their feelings?
For all the men who don’t like to express your feelings, please do not think you are weak!
That’s not what women think.
Actually, you might get laid more often if you express your feelings!

What advice would you give to a person who has faced a lot of racism in his life?

I am a South Asian male (born in India but came to America at the age of 5). My family initially lived in Virginia until I was 11 and life was beautiful, I made Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian friends and my neighbors helped to teach me English. Unfortunately my dad had to move to another US state and we expected it to be even more progressive than Virginia, we were wrong.

At the age of 11 my parents moved to New Jersey, currently I am a 17 year old high school senior. I go to a high school that is about 80 percent White, 15 percent Asian (Chinese and Korean mainly), and 5 percent everything else (Hispanic, Indian, and Black).

I have been told that I will never amount to anything in life because Indians are all slum people, I have been told that I better beg my parents to get me an arranged marriage because no sane woman wants an Indian man, one time I was dating this Asian girl (Korean) and I ended being jumped by White and Asian guys for it (I was not badly hurt and I did stand my ground), and constantly I have to hear bad things about my race and nationality to the point that it has been a bit traumatic to me.

I have applied to several colleges, my GPA is around a 3.9 out of 4.0 and I have a 2230 SAT score. My goal is to get out of this state as soon as I can.

I have not faced as much racism as I have faced in this trash god forsaken garbage state. How can I get over the racism I have faced?

BQ: Can you recommend me some better US states to live in?

My boyfriend says he cannot be with me in the long run because..?

I met my boyfriend 9 months ago and everything has been pretty good. And in the beginning of our relationship we did talk about marriage etc. and both seemed interested in it (but was way too early to think about it ne ways).
Tonight we got to talking and he said he cant be with me for the long run and there isn’t any future for us because of my beautiful 4 year old daughter Serenity. He cannot be with a woman who has a kid and his family won’t accept it……yes I understand that some backgrounds (his Korean) don’t approve of their son or daughter to be with someone who has a child. BUT …why has he stayed with me for 9 months and says he loves me and he knew I had a child all this time?!?!?!?!?!? I feel so hurt and sad right now. My daughter does not live with me at the time I see her on weekends because I am a full time student and her dad has more time with her (short term). But it hurts, if my bf has a problem then he should have not got together with me from the beginning. I am sad and I feel I should just end this relationship since there will never be a future for us.

Please help?
His family does not know that I have a child. He said he can never tell them. I have never even formally met his family.

As a white guy, would I be better off just dating Latin or Asian women?

I just don’t think I can connect with modern day women of other races, but Latin and Asian women from my observation seem to have all the qualities men want in a women that you won’t normally find in other women like great personalities, hard working, appreciative, beautiful, easy going, sweet, feminen, faithful, great mothers, ect. I have a couple of friends dating Cuban women and 1 who has dated a Korean women, they tell they are wonderful definatly marriage material. I have yet to even date a Latin or Asian women, so I’am I better off trying to date Latin or Asian women.

What advice would you give to a person who has faced a lot of racism in his life?

I am a South Asian male (born in India but came to America at the age of 5). My family initially lived in Virginia until I was 11 and life was beautiful, I made Black, White, Hispanic, and Asian friends and my neighbors helped to teach me English. Unfortunately my dad had to move to another US state and we expected it to be even more progressive than Virginia, we were wrong.

At the age of 11 my parents moved to New Jersey, currently I am a 17 year old high school senior. I go to a high school that is about 80 percent White, 15 percent Asian (Chinese and Korean mainly), and 5 percent everything else (Hispanic, Indian, and Black).

I have been told that I will never amount to anything in life because Indians are all slum people, I have been told that I better beg my parents to get me an arranged marriage because no sane woman wants an Indian man, one time I was dating this Asian girl (Korean) and I ended being jumped by White and Asian guys for it (I was not badly hurt and I did stand my ground), and constantly I have to hear bad things about my race and nationality to the point that it has been a bit traumatic to me.

I have applied to several colleges, my GPA is around a 3.9 out of 4.0 and I have a 2230 SAT score. My goal is to get out of this state as soon as I can.

I have not faced as much racism as I have faced in this trash god forsaken garbage state. How can I get over the racism I have faced?

BQ: Can you recommend me some better US states to live in?