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My new/used 07 honda ruckus.

Reposting the most awesome review of a vehicle ever. Found this on the now defunct

Honda Ruckus
By Steve Natt

There are plenty of vehicles that seem purposebuilt as male-enhancement
devices, but this ain’t one of them. By the time the maximum output of
the Honda Ruckus’s 49-cc engine slogs its way through its automatic
centrifugal clutch and belt-driven CVT to the rear tire’s contact
patch, all that’s left is a dyno-tested 3.4 horsepower (which converts
to 4.7 Shetland ponies or 11.9 possums or 368 guppies). Acceleration
can best be described as lethargic,and the fatter your ass is, the
slower you’ll go. Perhaps Honda should have called it the Bupkis.

Still, with its exposed frame rails and huge dual headlights that seem
set for Paris-Dakar with tires to match, this is pretty much the only
small scooter that guys can drive without looking like a total pussy.

The 120/90-10 front and 130/90-10 rear tires are miniscule by
motorcycle standards, but in the world of micro-scooters, this thing is
Bigfoot. And even though the knobby tread pattern seems better suited
to dirt than to tarmac, there’s sufficient grip to let you chuck the
Ruckus far enough over to grind the crap out of the center stand. Fully
committed street squids with a few square meters of clean pavement can
actually make use of knee pucks.

The real limitation is the soft, short-travel suspension, which bottoms
easily with a 175-pound rider aboard (184 with a 12-pack neatly stowed
in the underseat compartment). What you don’t want is to be canted over
in a corner at 30-plus and have the front tire drop into a deep, sandy
chuckhole. Novices will fall off if this happens.We merely got annoyed
as the Ruckus’s front end hit the lip of the broken pavement, made an
evil sound like a grenade detonating in an empty iron dumpster, and
then careened semi-sideways in the classic
lose-the-front-end-andundersteer manner. Sure, it was good for a laugh
over a cold one after a quick change of underwear, but bumping up both
spring rates and fork travel (from the stock 2.2 inches) would go a
long way to making the Ruckus live up to the promise of its style. And
of course,watching where the hell you’re going is always a good idea.

As a mellow errand-runner though,this thing is about as easy as it
gets. Pull the left lever (rear brake), touch the starter button, and
it instantly kicks off the cutest little idle you ever did hear. Think
Afro-Cuban popcorn popper. The seat is wide and cushy, and as long as
you are less than six feet tall, you’ll find enough room for your legs
on the floorboard. Zip through stalled urban traffic, arrive quietly at
your destination, and park it wherever there is three square feet of
clear space.Pure cake. In many states, you don’t even need a motorcycle
license to operate one, although taking a riding course (
is a smart way to get started if you don’t want to be "that idiot" who
ends up under a bus.

And here’s the capper—believe it or not, the Ruckus is, like a backpack
dog, a total babe magnet. The biggest opportunity comes when you roll
up to young co-eds on their femme-y scooters: so much in common, yet so
gender distinct. They’ll be Yinging while you’re Yanging. The Ruckus is
a rolling pick-up line.

So if you are looking for an A-to-B conveyance that gets 90 mpg with
good traction on the tarmac and with the ladies, look no further. This
is the mini-scooter for men who can’t pull off ball-less scooters like
Honda’s Metropolitan, Yamaha’s Vino Classic, or Vespa’s LX50. Sure it’s
slow, but this little Ruckus comes with a set of its own, and an
unthreatening set at that. Think of it as the metrosexual moped.

The dating world is an ever changing scene of constantly mutating norms and rituals.  To say it is frustrating would be quite the understatement.  Not to mention, there are those girls that get a genuine kick out of making the entire process as difficult as possible; hence the male’s reason for genuine, well justified, dread of rejection.  Humor is the best way to disarm the most disciplined sour puss.  As a result, a well timed funny pick up line is usually just what’s needed to break the ice.  Believe me, in this new millennium, the tried and true old faithful funny pick up lines for girls are just that, old and tried.


Let’s get the obvious out the way first.  What tickles the marrow of one person’s funny bone could grate the very nerve of another individual.  The environment, setting, and present company could never go ignored.  These key elements must be considered to ensure that funny pick up line for girls really works.  All three elements, the environment, the setting, and the present company, must coordinate like a symphony.  This is a delicate balance.  If just one element is out of sync, your success will become extremely questionable at best.  Don’t be tempted to confuse funny with a snide remark aimed at some apparent unassuming victim.  It may just back fire miserably.


There’s a lot of funny to be found in our every day lives.  Just take note and pay attention.  There’s inspiration all around you.  Don’t ever force funny.  Attempt to be funny when you feel like being funny.  Forcing a funny pick up line will sound exactly like that, forced not funny.  Perhaps you are just not funny, go for witty or well timed sarcasm.  Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.  That’s the motto for being funny.  That’s the tightly held secret of the funniest among us.  Don’t be afraid to give your funny line a try.  Nothing beats a trial but a failure.  Go for it!


One more thing that remains a key ingredient for delivering a successful funny pick up line for girls, this is the ability to confidently and charismatically admit that you are not funny when you flop.  Yes, it is possible for a girl to find you attractive and cute doing this, if you do it right.  The best comedian takes the time to develop an art form of recovering from a failed funny line.  Being funny is, hands down, a gamble.


A successfully delivered well timed funny pick up line for girls is priceless.  However, you should be aware of the contributing factors that determine your success.  Your environment could never be ignored.  A funeral service is not the best place to try out your newest funny pick up line.  Never forget that every girl is unique, so it should be pointless to point out the need to cater your funny pick up line accordingly.  Originality is key.  Be different.  Every girl could use a little break from monotony.  Being serious all the time is entirely too draining.


Author: David White


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Originally posted 2011-04-08 09:35:23.

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