One of the questions I am asked more than any other is “Are pick up lines effective in order to meet women?” Moreover, the answer is it really depends on your location.
But if you’re in a bar, I think it’s actually really helpful, and the best pick-up line that I’ve ever used is “I know I don’t have a chance. I just wanted to hear an angel talk.”
Now, you can use your name instead of mine, but it definitely works because you are just going up to the girl, and introducing yourself, and showing the confidence that you have.
Now as far as “cheesy pick up lines” go, those can be effective as well, especially if you think the girl has a sense of humor. One of my best friends walked up to a table of women, and he saw a girl and said “Excuse me, do you mind if I hit on you for a while?” She cracked up, and he actually ended up marrying her because she had a sense of humor about it. Therefore, I think pick up lines use on girls, if they are funny and cheeky, can definitely work to your advantage.
If you are talking to a woman and she no longer wants to talk to you, and she moves away or she rejects you, do not let this ruin your evening in the least. In fact, you should really build on it. You were able to go up to her and talk to her and that is a great thing. Remember, in the back of your mind, rejection is so much better than regret. You went for it, you went out there, you went out on a limb, and you spoke with her. You never have to wonder, “What if?” you got your answer.
So what if she rejected you? It could have been for a million reasons; don’t take it personally. She could’ve got fired from work that day, she could have a boyfriend she’s still in love with – there are a million reasons. Just buck up, look around the room, and find the next woman you are interested in, and go and talk to her.
Why do we transition? Think about how many times this has happened to you: You start a conversation with a beautiful woman; things seem to be going great, she’s invested in your pick up line, she’s laughing with you, you feel like there’s real chemistry taking place, and then, things stall. The energy dissipates. Out of nowhere, she loses interest. All of a sudden, as quickly as it began, you’re standing there alone.
What just happened? You failed to transition out of your pick up line into something else interesting. Women need their emotional states pumped through a range of emotions at all times, but particularly when you first meet them. If you “milk your opener” (continue talking about your opener for too long), women will get bored, associate you with their boredom, and abandon the conversation.
How To Shift From Pick Up Lines To Conversation
You need to change the topic. Nevertheless, if you jump right into your attraction material, it will make the woman uncomfortable because you haven’t earned enough value yet to dive into a comfort building, get-to-know-each-other kind of conversation. Simply uttering a pick up line is not enough.
The key is to bridge the gap between approaching and attraction with a transition, which is most easily done with a statement based on something you notice about her or her group.
You can think about it like a pendulum: When you walk up to the woman, the pendulum starts all the way to the left as you talk about something that’s on your mind. Then, as the pendulum swings all the way to the right, you have to switch gears, transition and talk about something related to her.
Finally, when the pendulum swings back to the left, you’re ready to enter the attraction phase and talk more about yourself again.
After delivering a pick up line, you can use cold read, which is simply making a guess about the women you’re speaking to, is often the best way to transition out of the opener. Observe something and comment on it. This can be done spontaneously, based on things you actually see and think are true, or you can use a prepared cold read because they lead to predictable responses that you can follow with ready-made jokes. The idea here is to transition the pick up line off the approach with a cold read while disqualifying at the same time.
Originally posted 2012-02-13 06:49:03.