You Have Two Cows

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You Have Two Cows
cute pick up lines to use on guys
Image by ::Prad Prathivi @ Amodica::
Cross-posted from by blog @ Metaversally Speaking

LINDEN LAB: You have two cows. You declare that you own all the milk, and outlaw any milk-based betting. You ban branding on mainland cows. You then declare that one of the cows was never supposed to be used to produce milk. You promise that limited milk supplies will be made available from the offspring of the cows, due sometime next year. You employ someone to provide bovine cheer in the form of Youtube videos.

BUILDER: You have two cows. You build a paddock and sell the designs to other cow owners.

FASHION DESIGNER: You have two cows. You kill both and launch a leatherwear line.

SCRIPTER: You have two cows. You script one to give the answer to life, the universe and everything. You then set up up a demonstration to show the world your proud achievement. Other cow owners aren’t too impressed that you have one cow that says "moo" and another that says "fourty-mwoo".

BLOGGER: You have no cows. You write about other cows and review their milk.

PHOTOGRAPHER: You have one cow. You drag it to hundreds of different pastures and take pictures of it. You meet up with other cow-owners in the cow-capital of the world and have cow-fun.

ESCORT: You have two cows. You dress them both up and apply make up to them. Then you go out to your preferred sex sim of choice and watch as all the guys pick you over the cows.

GOREAN MASTER: You have two cows. You make one your slave and attach a collar to it, with a chain so you can drag it around with you everywhere you go. The kill the second cow to service all your leathery need.

GOREAN SLAVE: You have two cows. Your master takes both and provides you with milk in the kinkiest way imaginable.

VAMPIRE: You have two cows. You bite one and insist that it’s a zombie cow now. You get points for biting the cow and decide to leave the other one until morning. The cow crushes you while you sleep for being an annoying son of a bitch who keeps biting unsuspecting cows to gain points.

FURRIES: You have two cows. You keep them in a private field where nobody ever sees them. You eventually decide the one on the left is kinda cute..

MEGALOMANIAC: You have 20 cows. You employ photographers to take pretty pictures of your cows to feature them in your magazine. Then you hold a cow paegent and whittle them down to one cow. You’re suprised when the cow kicks you to the ground a few months later and goes off to a new pasture.

SMALL LANDOWNER: You have two cows. You buy a few baby calves to add to your pasture, and then get pissed when you’re told the monthly upkeep of the calves is going to increase. You sell all your cows and invest in horses.

LARGE LANDOWNER: You have no cows. You prostitute yourself until you can afford your first cow, which you then rent out until you can afford a bull. You then aggresively force the cow and the bull to mate until you have the largest herd (naming it Dreampastures) and make yourself a millionaire. You then move onto new pastures.

GINKO BANK: You have two cows. You invite people to move their cows to your field, and offering the milk produced by five cows as a return. You declare your fields to have run out of grass, devalue the milk to a fake currency and move out the country. The largest cow-owner takes your beef.

WHJ: You have no cows. You invite other cow owners to send their milk to your processing plant. You then store the milk and wait until your containers are full to maximum. You then fake your own death and live a life of strong, healthy bones.

GRIEFER: I have a cow launcher. Die, bitch.

NOOB: You have one cow. You attach it to your groin and start doing a stupid dance.

Many thanks to Elizabeth Tinsley for letting me use her sim Oubliette for the pic!

Approaching guys can give you the jitters.  It can be scary walking up to a complete stranger and trying to chat him up.  Of course not everyone has the ability to smooth talk random people.  Very few people actually have that gift.  Others have to develop this talent.  So here a few funny lines you can use as an opening to chat up guys that you may potentially see yourself with.  Or you can just have a bit of fun with these! There’s no harm in flirting just for the heck of it!

“Excuse me, I’m really sorry to bother you but, my friend thinks you’re really cute.”  Clichéd, yes! Boring, no! There is nothing better than flattering a guy straight out.  This shows that not only do you have the nerve to actually say this to a stranger, but you aren’t afraid to have a bit of fun.  Chatting up a guy means flirting for fun.  There is no harm, no foul.  It’s a great feeling to see a guy all flustered and embarrassed.  If guys can compliment or hit on girls randomly, why can’t girls do the same?

“You’re zipper’s open” yikes, now here is a new one.  This is only to be used by the bold and daring.  You’ve got to have the confidence to carry it off, without breaking a sweat.  Try and keep a straight face for as long as possible, then break out into a huge grin.  This really acts as an ice breaker and is the opening you need to chat him up.  If he’s shy, be more forthcoming, so he knows you’re one who speaks her mind.  Aside from the fun element, it’s really hilarious to see how guys react to such statements.

“I’ve lost my phone, can I please borrow yours?” not quite as challenging, but nonetheless it works.  This is the perfect opportunity to let a guy know that you’re available.  Fiddle with his phone while saying thank you.  Bat your eyes, smile audaciously – but don’t scare him.  They key is get him interested enough to pursue the conversation further so that your part is done.  Silly chat up lines are such a farce, they’re a great way to let off steam and even indulge in some good self esteem boosting! Just be sure that you are strong enough to go through with them till the end!

Learn more about how to give good head to a guy and well as how to give a good blow job to someone you like. For more tips and info, check out how to turn a man on to really light his fire

Article from

Another amazing pick up line that doesn’t work. Believe me I’ve tried. Just kidding I haven’t used or did I.

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Originally posted 2017-07-11 00:58:24.

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